Are You Confusing Comfort with Happiness?
Are you confusing comfort with happiness? I know I sought constant comfort when I was experiencing anxiety. I thought anxiety was the enemy and comfort was the answer – it’s an innocent mistake the best of us fall into. But eventually I saw how constantly seeking comfort was making me miserable. In an effort not to experience anxiety, I avoided everything and everyone that I thought might trigger anxiety, shrinking my comfort zone to my house (and then my bed). So often we get caught up in trying to “manage” anxiety because we assume if we don’t feel it, then, and only then, we will be “ok” or “happy”.
But let me ask you this – weren’t some of the happiest moments in your life accompanied by some fear or apprehension? I know mine were. In college, I signed up for a wildlife biology study abroad program in Kenya, Africa. I was excited all summer, but when the day finally arrived, I got cold feet. I begged my parents not to make me go, but they had already paid the bill so that was the end of that conversation. I cried the ENTIRE ride to the airport. While my four months in Kenya were not without their terrifying poisonous snakes and overwhelming open air markets, they were also some of the most memorable moments of my life. Almost ten years on, the friends I made in that study abroad program remain some of my closest friends today. Another example, when I moved to Maine to train to become a whitewater rafting guide I was SO nervous my first day on the river that my instructor could barely hear me squeaking commands over the sound of the rapids. But guess what, that instructor ended up becoming my husband and we've never looked back. The point is that some of my happiest and most fulfilling life experiences have happened while fear and anxiety were present, and I wonder if that’s been true for you at all as well?
Comfort is NOT inherently bad. Sometimes we need to take a step back, regroup, and lean into comfort and safety to re-fuel our psychological and physical resources - it’s finding that balance between stretching ourselves and resting.
