Quit it or Grit it?

I remember my mom signing me up for rec basketball when I was 8 years old. I never expressed any interest in playing basketball. EVER. I was not what you would call a naturally athletic kid - I tried out for our town’s soccer team, because that’s what all my friends were doing, and I did not make the A, B, or even the newly established C team… everyone made the C team. To my credit, I was always a good swimmer though. But alas, I digress.

I wanted to quit basketball after the first practice, the second practice, the third practice, every game, and so on. It just wasn’t my jam. But, like so many other people, I was taught to NEVER quit. Should I have been allowed to quit basketball? There’s value in gritting (sticking with something, even when it’s challenging) AND quitting (especially when something no longer serves us), so I’m not sure what the “right” choice was. But it brings up the question “is quitting ever ok?” Until I was 25 years old, I would have said no, until panic attacks and anxiety punched me in the gut and forced me to re-evaluate. The stark truth is that sometimes quitting, letting go, pivoting, etc. are the most skillful, practical, and efficient choices we can make.

So, how do we know when it’s time to quit it or grit it? Well, ACT theory, coaching psychology, mindfulness and more suggests that asking ourselves: “Is this _____ (fill in the blank: relationship, major, job, location, habit, way of coping, etc.) in align with my values?” If you’re not sure of what your values even are, check out this great values survey that I use regularly in my coaching practice: https://personalvalu.es/

And, if you want to hear more about how to determine if it’s time to quit or grit something, then listen to this podcast episode (inspired by Dr. Susan David), where we explore other questions that we can reflect on to support us in making that often difficult decision.