Episode 265: The Subtle Oppression of Relentless Self-Improvement
Join Kelli and Erica as they chat about the subtle oppression of relentless self-improvement. Spoiler alert: Sometimes less is more when it comes to self-growth and healing!
To tune into the episode, listen on iTunes or Spotify.
Transcript
00:00.00
kelliwalkercoaching
Hey guys welcome to not another anxiety show I'm your host Kelly Walker and joining me today is my co-host from coaching from abroad dotcom Erica Latham
00:11.31
erica
Ah I panicked. Ah how about this one. What's cooking good luck and no, that's terrible. That's terrible everyone everyone should know that one and a half minutes ago
00:16.38
kelliwalkercoaching
Oh no, That's good. That's Fantastic. You saved the day. I.
00:27.36
erica
Kelly Walker of podcast fame and just said I don't have one of those things that I usually say and then I frantically googled and all he came up was pickup lines.
00:33.78
kelliwalkercoaching
Pick up. Well you know what you picked me up and you saved the day. not all here not all heroes were Kate not all here, but you can't you can't see me but I'm tossing my hair back between my shoulder. So.
00:37.47
erica
Wow Wow That was fantastic.
00:49.35
erica
But that's.
00:52.16
kelliwalkercoaching
Thank you I feel extra special I Just I did not come prepared with a what's the word bird or what just is Miss store I don't know in a wild crocodile that doesn't make sense but we get whatever those are called I don't know they're not idioms. So.
00:55.13
erica
Oh my nerves. Yeah whoa I don't know what I don't know they're called but I just learned this past Wednesday year of our lord 2023 that there's apparently a whole book. Of like in a wild crocodile stuff I have to ah oh we're going to talk about birthdays Today. We're gonna don't forget, we're gonna talk about birthdays at the end of this podcast. They do.
01:17.21
kelliwalkercoaching
Um, my birthday is only in eight months point length.
01:27.91
kelliwalkercoaching
But we absolutely are because you have want to come in a big one. Okay or ah, ah.
01:32.25
erica
Something hey I have a I have a thing for though. Um I'm lost can you give me the directions to your heart. No okay how about ah they say that Disney World is the happiest place on earth.
01:44.27
kelliwalkercoaching
Who.
01:50.80
erica
But clearly they've never stood next to you. It's too soon too Soon is it ah last one and then we have we have stuff to talk about look at me censoring myself I want to touch my shirt.
01:51.93
kelliwalkercoaching
Yeah, Disney don't do not insult Disney world like that Disney World is the happiest place. Okay, I'm so ready.
02:09.00
erica
It's made of girlfriend material. Ah, ah oh god I'm gonna use these? Oh oh, some of them are just same all right I'm sorry I'm pulling up my notes I'm pulling up the notes. Let's do this hello Kelly Walker what are we.
02:12.72
kelliwalkercoaching
Oh oh that one was really really good. Oh I love that one hello eica Latham that I have to spell out phonetically every time or I wouldn't say it right.
02:30.29
erica
Ah, it is funny to get your notes and to see my own name spelled the way you spell. Yeah hey I get it I get it. Thank you thank you for your service. What are we talking about today. What are we doing.
02:32.61
kelliwalkercoaching
Um, yeah, your last name is spelled wrong. Yeah, it's spelled Phonetically yeah I spelled out phone medicalically. Yeah yeah, so the other day I saw a quote from Corey Muscara who is.
02:48.94
erica
Love him.
02:51.72
kelliwalkercoaching
He's a meditation teacher. He's a former monk I think he was a monk for like six months um and now he's currently an instructor of positive psychology at you pen and the quote went something like this sometimes you just need to stare out of a window and do nothing don't meditate. Don't problem solve don't even try to relax. Just let yourself be without the subtle oppression of relentless self improvement and this spoke to my soul on a very visceral level I know.
03:17.57
erica
Ah, honestly, do we need to say more? Thank you for listening, please leave a rating or review. Um, Wow Yeah, yeah, sometimes we just need to do less. So.
03:30.37
kelliwalkercoaching
So yeah, and it's you know I don't know about you. But for me, it feels like you know when I wrote this when I wrote this episode I was feeling like really spicy and rebellious like I was like I was telling you Eric I was feeling really rebellious like I'm not doing.
03:43.15
erica
It It is.
03:50.30
kelliwalkercoaching
Any of the self-improvement nonsense this week I'm just stop not doing it I refuse. Yeah now I was just feeling real feisty and I think I think one that is definitely warranted and necessary at times because at least for me, it feels like I have these internal. And external expectations to like work 40 hours a week. Be an engaged parent exercise meditate make healthy meals volunteer my community like that outside. It's it's just too much for 1 person who the hell can do all of that all the time. Seriously.
04:16.70
erica
Um, who yeah, ah we try. We try so hard.
04:26.99
kelliwalkercoaching
Who we try. We try you know and it's I Dr. Sarah Woodhouse said it well who we had on the show probably about a year ago now. But but yeah I think it's about a year ago but
04:30.32
erica
We try? yeah.
04:39.73
erica
Let's figure ago.
04:44.78
kelliwalkercoaching
I Like to kind of lean into one of my favorite quotes from her when I'm feeling that subtle oppression of self-improvement or like when I'm feeling tapped overwhelmed exhausted rutted whatever it might be um, but she says one of the best things we can do.
04:53.85
erica
Ah.
05:03.81
kelliwalkercoaching
Is simplify just simplify when we're in that space. What can we delegate? What can we let go of simplify.
05:04.55
erica
E.
05:14.31
erica
I Know we're gonna talk about this because I know us I know us so well. Um, that's terrifying and.
05:20.44
kelliwalkercoaching
Yeah, it is right? It's like and I I 100% agree with you like two weeks ago I had a whole Sunday morning to myself because my kids slept at their grandma's this whole this gift right? This gift of a slow wake up sleeping in. Not being sort of bombarded straight away first thing in the morning I love my kids I love being a parent but like what it's like like I will I know it's like it's kind of oh my mother in Law. It's my mother in-law's gift.
05:43.54
erica
Your kids are terrified. Your kids are so scared. They just have such red hair where did it come from whose hair is that Oh oh.
05:59.20
kelliwalkercoaching
And keeps on giving um, and yeah so I had I had this whole beautiful Sunday morning to myself and my brain was just yelling at me. It was yelling at me to do laundry like make the most out of this time. Go skiing. There's actually snow to do cross country skiing. Oh you should probably meditate.
06:04.37
erica
Button A little.
06:17.61
kelliwalkercoaching
And you know what I did instead I wooled I sat there and woobled for like 3 hours
06:19.10
erica
What did you do instead. Ah can I just say now hold your horses you sent me a picture which obviously I'm going to put on the inst agram.
06:36.79
erica
I can't abbreviate I'm 39 um you sent me with 3 pages of exclamation points I finished the snout and just a picture of this thing. Gorgeous love it. So cute. Still don't understand but you wobbled.
06:37.60
kelliwalkercoaching
Now you can't.
06:54.65
kelliwalkercoaching
Yeah I wod woobble you got whobbled I'm a woogr I'm a woor and I wod and I'm gonna woobble again today. It.
06:56.45
erica
Okay, wobbled wobbled What's the past tense hang hunged hanged. It just as a reminder if you missed the last episode. It's a it's a Hobby Crochet Animal. They're like little toys kind of right? yeah.
07:12.42
kelliwalkercoaching
Yeah, and I'm I'm probably not saying it right? I've only ever read the words so I don't know how to pronounce it phonetically exactly but it's a garami. It's like it's some bring Amma Gu Rami or so it's but you basically crochet these little stuffed animals right? like.
07:20.60
erica
Ah, that's very good. No that's on brand that's on brand for us though. Yeah sure. Yeah.
07:31.30
kelliwalkercoaching
You crochet them and I made dog the pug which you know took me a few weeks because I couldn't figure out the snout I won't get into it again I know I rambled on last episode about it. But I have it was important but I have since figured out the snout I finished do the pug I gave it to my niece as a gift. Um.
07:32.76
erica
Is. Well, it was important.
07:46.85
erica
Did you love it. She was like ah oh oh and you were like listen to me little shit I wooled.
07:51.30
kelliwalkercoaching
Yes, he goes ah ah t a Kelly why is it a ball and like this like I was like oh that's just that's just the style honey and she goes what's his name again and I was like.
08:04.54
erica
I Woled my face off, you're gonna love it.
08:10.67
kelliwalkercoaching
Duug the pug dug the pug and I really sold it and she you know soon fell in love with it because I hear better. yeah yeah I sold her on it. She came round but she wasn't as I even prepared myself I was like Kelly probably nobody's gonna be as excited about these googleogs.
08:13.26
erica
You could sell a wooable to a child That's that's true, all right.
08:29.23
kelliwalkercoaching
As you are so just hang in there. Take a deep breath ground yourself and yeah, like my brain is screaming at me and I rebelled and I woodled I rebelled I'll tell you what.
08:31.59
erica
And ah, I'm excited for you. Um, now. Wait. Okay, so your brain screaming at you. You're Ski meditate and you rebelled and you woobled so. Asking for a friend but how did it feel.
08:48.52
kelliwalkercoaching
Well I think part of the reason I love woogbbling so much is because it's engaging So like my brain it was sort of like um, really like a diffusion technique a little bit that we talk about and act like I I Really just had this sounds almost like an addiction but I really had this urge to wooble. That's all I wanted to do It was like.
08:51.44
erica
A a.
09:07.74
kelliwalkercoaching
Crummy weather I was like you know what? I really want to do I want to woobble this is in a line with my values like this is what I'm doing and so my brain really did quiet down as I became engaged and was working on it and when I was done I was like you know what? That's exactly what I needed like that I was right. That is what I needed and it was such a lovely morning but my brain was screaming at me at first right.
09:27.70
erica
Um, okay oh yeah I feel like half the time of like getting into this is just or or like once you do this first or I don't know several times.
09:41.50
kelliwalkercoaching
It gets easier. Yeah I hope yeah well and I'll tell you something like this like you know it may sound like it wasn't very productive or it was a waste of time but I'll it right? like a waste of time but really I am.
09:43.30
erica
Non thing thing. Yeah yeah I hope. Ah yeah, what a word? yeah.
10:00.12
kelliwalkercoaching
Every time I look at a completed wooble I'm up to like 4 now every time I look at one I just feel this like unbridled joy I feel some pride right? like I feel some pride and I think like in its own way. It was valuable because.
10:07.65
erica
Yes, Okay, yes.
10:18.43
kelliwalkercoaching
So many of us that struggle with anxiety right part of what we struggle with is um, underestimating our abilities and capabilities and like overestimating potential threats so to complete something small like this and feel like.
10:29.66
erica
In.
10:35.21
kelliwalkercoaching
I'm so not artsy. It's not part of my narrative like I would never define myself as artsy. All of my hobbies are like very physical very outdoorsy and I was like I need to diversify a little bit like kids I ever break a leg or something like and diversify I'm gonna I don't have a rich inner world here. What am I going to do like.
10:36.12
erica
Oh.
10:44.40
erica
Open.
10:54.39
kelliwalkercoaching
So you know part of it was diversifying but there really was a lot of value in like kind of starting something that was brand new for me and finishing it and being proud of the outcome It really kind of it I think and that kind of gets.
11:02.00
erica
Yeah, yeah.
11:08.11
kelliwalkercoaching
To our point like when we're not trying to be productive when we're not trying to tick off our to do list when we're simply being or playing or doing something for the sake of doing it. There's actually a lot of value in it. Yeah I mean I feel like you can tell us something along the lines with.
11:18.22
erica
Really as though. Yeah, oh.
11:26.60
kelliwalkercoaching
This thing you keep texting to me that I have no idea what it means like let's talk about my 43 my 40 things in 23 I don't I don't know what those words are yeah.
11:33.35
erica
I Keep texting you you sent me your notes you know about the show like here's what I want to talk about because as we all know together Collectively I show up I show up Blank Sleep I'm ready to I'm ready to rage in these podcasts. But recently we've decided.
11:45.88
kelliwalkercoaching
Um, yeah.
11:48.64
kelliwalkercoaching
There is.
11:53.10
erica
Probably not the best business section. Maybe I should know what you're going to talk about like you have this like beautiful like I've researched and I'm like yeah man I put my good sweatpants on but I texted you and will speak for yourself. Um, that's not true I Obviously I take this very seriously. But.
11:55.52
kelliwalkercoaching
Yeah, yeah.
12:04.94
kelliwalkercoaching
Um, now bleach states that showed up.
12:10.67
kelliwalkercoaching
Um, yeah.
12:12.52
erica
I texted you and said hey can I this seems like a time to talk about a thing that only I care about would you care if I talk about my 40 and 23 and you were like no idea what the hell you're talking about please do do you wolf.
12:20.70
kelliwalkercoaching
I know because I have some idea of like what you're doing before this fortieth year of life approaches and I thought it would be like 40 and 40 you're gonna just have to explain them I thought it was like 40 things.
12:31.29
erica
1 okay, there. Ah well my birthdays my birthday's in June and I decided this on like December thirtieth so my poor god suffering.
12:36.21
kelliwalkercoaching
But four forty but then the 23 threw me off. So maybe you could tell us what.
12:49.70
erica
Therapist look me in the face and was like why why is this happening to me and she was like I'm going to raise the rates. Um I decided out of nowhere that literally like mid therapy session I was like I think I want to do forty things in the year twenty twenty three right to celebrate my fortieth birthday and she's like it's such a long list erica like you're not famous for completing these things because hashtag anxiety and possibly like all kinds of other neurodivi diversgent stuff. But I decided that with much consultation 40.
13:08.59
kelliwalkercoaching
Ah, makes sense gotcha.
13:27.85
erica
Playful, Joyous frivolous relatively spontaneous silly dare I say silly um because you know I'm in my silly goose phase. Um, where remember when I put all the wheels on backwards for the dresser I.
13:30.47
kelliwalkercoaching
Silly even right or even silly.
13:38.49
kelliwalkercoaching
I Think yeah, that's what I was thinking of.
13:46.40
kelliwalkercoaching
Yeah, a silly goose.
13:47.12
erica
Was putting together for 9 hours and then instead of ripping myself apart I called myself a silly goose and then I had to be institutionalized. Um, but I just I'm I'm work I'm navigating my way through I think doing hopefully forty things just things. And I am struggling with it because it this is the exercise where it it can't be an exercise in productivity. It can't be um I look look what I can do and everybody be proud of me. It has to just be for me has to be sort of like behind the scenes silent.
14:10.60
kelliwalkercoaching
Um, yeah.
14:19.69
kelliwalkercoaching
Right? Oh I guess.
14:23.68
erica
Wobbling wobbling you know, just because you woke up on a Sunday and felt like it so thing is I was sick as a dog like the first month and a half of ah how? ah all of us were sitting right? Yeah yeah, right.
14:31.58
kelliwalkercoaching
Oh my God I know all winter just all winter all but I know this whole winter everybody everybody was sick all the time It was like a trifecta of the flu and it was terrible.
14:43.61
erica
Ah, oh my god I had all you know, just stuff just stuff you know life happens. Whatever so I'm I'm kicking back up into this but I've done 1 thing 3 times.
14:49.23
kelliwalkercoaching
Yeah.
14:56.99
kelliwalkercoaching
That counts. What please? What is this thing that you have clearly committed to.
15:00.45
erica
I so they have this thing I'm going to have to like plug this and hopefully they don't mind but there's this thing called the bons eye bar or the bones eye bars I've learned from my friends Sean and Brandon and Heather um, where bones eye is the.
15:09.80
kelliwalkercoaching
Who.
15:18.30
kelliwalkercoaching
Ah.
15:20.00
erica
Process of which you buy which you trim a tree Bush that's not euphemism. Um a plant thing and but it's not necessarily the bones eye bondsai that you're thinking of like the word means to like trim your Bush l lo l.
15:27.89
kelliwalkercoaching
A plant thing. A plant thing.
15:38.74
erica
And ah this is a family show cat robert ah, but it was such a nice soothing silly thing and now I have this tree I adopted 1 from a friend I went with and then I went back with again by myself so I could write about it.
15:39.83
kelliwalkercoaching
This is I.
15:54.52
erica
They thought it was weird but they're super into it and then I took my mom and they were like what the hell are you doing here and now they're like do you want to side hustle. Do you want to do this and I'm like no I can't I can't have this because I will become like a professional bones eye person I will start a business like bones eyee from abroad.
16:05.22
kelliwalkercoaching
Ah.
16:10.76
kelliwalkercoaching
Um.
16:12.64
erica
I can't be trusted to not do things for play. Yeah like and that's that's your wobbling wobbling thing like you have to wake up on a Sunday and go this just feels nice and it's not that like um impulsivity that is dangerous. It's just what.
16:13.67
kelliwalkercoaching
To make it productive right? like to? yeah. Yeah.
16:30.89
erica
Actually feels good to you? Yeah yeah.
16:31.66
kelliwalkercoaching
Like sometimes we need to be a kid. Do you know what? I mean like we have so many so many responsibilities. It's so easy to get lost in like the routine the demands the chores the responsibilities of every day and be an autopilot and play brings.
16:47.98
erica
Yeah, yeah.
16:51.16
kelliwalkercoaching
So many things that are valuable to like our human brain and body right? like novelty and creativity and like um, expanding our perspective like it literally play literally rewires our brain like new novel.
16:54.29
erica
Yeah, right, right? right.
17:09.33
kelliwalkercoaching
Activities like that rewire our brain and they make our brain more plastic I mean it it in and of itself is productive. You don't have right? like it's it's funny because we're talking about like stepping back from that but in a way we can almost give ourselves permission not that any of us need it. But. When we are stepping back and literally doing nothing for the sake of doing nothing other than it feels good sometimes and being silly or plain and you know not making a whole business on Etsy of wooles because your husband says hey you could sell these for a couple bucks like now it's just for me. It's just for me.
17:39.45
erica
You and Andy not damn and Andy don't give her any ideas she wouldn't do that. Ah, all.
17:46.79
kelliwalkercoaching
I know and he's like you know what? he's like you know what? just kidding you do this for you like if you want to have a whole drawer of rubles upstairs. It's coming out of your bureau but fine and so like so you know there if I know is it? what.
18:00.60
erica
Um, first of all bureau What a new England thing to say is it. Do you say Amtor aunt.
18:04.79
kelliwalkercoaching
Dresser I grew up saying aunt but all my in-laws and everybody I'm around says Aunt so I have since you know although my nieces and nephew call me Tia Kelly so it's like I don't really have to think about it. Um.
18:12.24
erica
And thank god.
18:19.74
erica
I Have a couple of follow-up questions so that anyway yeah, so play super important. It is terrifying the space between the crevasse between that that.
18:28.51
kelliwalkercoaching
Ah, yeah.
18:34.33
erica
That impulse that that desire that Lizardy Brainy sort of like I need to do something that is structured and worthwhile air quotes productive you know something that I can show on paper to show that I have I'm valid and my validity and my actions mean something.
18:41.65
kelliwalkercoaching
Yeah.
18:52.15
erica
The space between that and just like silly is terrifying we feel like we have to fill it so hard. Yeah I think I've spent more time just sitting here going like now's the time like go do something frivolous. Go I've taken myself to a lot of breakfasts.
18:53.80
kelliwalkercoaching
Um, yeah, yeah, it is yeah it's.
19:09.34
kelliwalkercoaching
Um, yeah, oh I love x oh my god yeah, that sounds like a Vermont thing that's.
19:12.14
erica
I have had more eggs Benedict in Upstate New York and Vermont and Massachusetts than I have in my whole life I just keep going anywhere like within an hour of me I'm like I will go and have breakfasts. Let's do this so that's I've done forty of those and the change to now.
19:29.92
kelliwalkercoaching
Ah, yes, yes, that's what I want to do like 40 different restaurants but but I think you're on it like play is self-care and sometimes our inner voice really rebels against self-care right? It it's gonna feel.
19:33.17
erica
Ah, yeah.
19:41.85
erica
Yeah.
19:46.89
kelliwalkercoaching
I think it feels wrong at first it feels wrong, right? like it feels wrong or.
19:50.76
erica
Feels weaponized. It feels like like we use self-care as like I'm ah like another thing we have to do is.
19:56.76
kelliwalkercoaching
Another right? but and and and again when we use self-care is like it's intended like it feels like a bit of a leap at first to really kind of step back from being productive from. You know self-improvement from all these things like stepping back and just playing and and not even just playing just being honestly sometimes one of my favorite things is like when we have a fire going is like just looking at the flames like I know it like it sounds really boring or looking at my bird feeder like just watching the birds for a cup.
20:23.33
erica
Yeah, but it doesn't I was just picturing like oh my God I can't I have cardinals. Okay I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry you said you said the magic words. Oh okay.
20:31.86
kelliwalkercoaching
I know don't even get you started I've seen your Instagram stories this week I love it so much I know I it's my fault sorry everybody. It's my fault. It's this. Ah and I saw that how sweet.
20:42.90
erica
Okay, I'll let it go but I just want to say I have cardinals and they feed each other Okay, that's it they feed each other Kelly they feed. It's a boy the girl and they feed each other all right, all me and continue.
20:50.58
kelliwalkercoaching
They and I it's ah who says romance is dead right? Like oh my God but this but this feels it. It feels like a leap kind of like we were talking about like when I had this sort of just. Calling to woop I'm like I just want to relax and sit on the couch and wooble right? There was there was protest in my internal dialogue. There was protest and it felt like a leap and and so I think just when it comes down to it. We're experiential learners right? like.
21:13.23
erica
E.
21:22.83
erica
And he.
21:26.31
kelliwalkercoaching
We're experiential learners the more we do this the more we lean into doing something just because it brings us joy just because it helps us feel grounded or feel at ease or just comfortable with being in the moment. It's that's really valuable too. That is actually productive in and of itself. It's just inherently productive without us making it so you know it has value and and I think it helps to kind of point out play includes anything anything we do recreationally that brings us joy or excitement.
21:48.33
erica
Yeah, yeah.
22:00.70
kelliwalkercoaching
That's pretty broad right? like this can be video games sports writing woobling collecting stamps watching our birds feed each other at the bird feeder and and I think the interesting thing is research shows that play has lots of benefits. We know this for kids we know like Playbased learning is a legitimate thing.
22:17.33
erica
E.
22:19.47
kelliwalkercoaching
And we know that playing allows kids to take sort of calculated risks and problem solve. It's just as important for adults. It really is it boosts our overall well-being and life satisfaction. It helps us cope with stress and it improves our physical health. It's a nice reminder that.
22:22.99
erica
Yeah, yeah.
22:37.16
kelliwalkercoaching
Just being in plain are inherently valuable for these reasons who.
22:38.20
erica
Do you know who else talks about this my girlfriend and life partner Brene brown. She does she talks about it in the context of parenting where she says we are like we're scheduling our kids with.
22:45.44
kelliwalkercoaching
Oh does she oh enlighten me o. Yeah, yeah, no.
22:57.59
erica
To proverbial death. We we feel like they need to be involved. They need to be in 48 clubs or 58 sports and every moment of their night needs to be structured and we need to give them permission to play and to be bored and how important boredom is.
23:10.90
kelliwalkercoaching
Yeah, it's very. It's so important it really recalibrates the nervous system Really like when our kids are in school all day when they're going to their sports when they're included in clubs. It's the same with us when we're going going going all day.
23:16.46
erica
Yeah, yeah.
23:27.58
kelliwalkercoaching
Not a lot of us myself included even with all the knowledge and practice I have like if we're going all day we forget really to sort of have these nervous system breaks where we take a breath where we open up our body where we feel our feet on the ground without being just carried away.
23:41.52
erica
Yeah, 4
23:43.44
kelliwalkercoaching
By the day where play and just watching is really nourishing for the nervous system for us and our kids.
23:50.61
erica
What's interesting to me about me because ah, ah, broad um is my mo is I I have 48000 semi businessess. You know the broad.
23:53.90
kelliwalkercoaching
Because because throwing my hair back because it's all about me.
24:07.96
erica
Empire that I'm running I'm laughing at myself. So I have a full time job. We do the podcast. We do you know so many different things. Um boy howdy you and me both sister. Um, what a boring job.
24:10.50
kelliwalkercoaching
And also you're so busy at work. Yeah, your new promotions really getting in the way of me getting a chit chat with you. Ah.
24:27.74
erica
Anyway, there's a point to this I'm busy but I find myself using that busyness as a status symbol or as an excuse as a badge and.
24:29.78
kelliwalkercoaching
You're busy.
24:38.32
kelliwalkercoaching
Yeah, the badge. Yeah.
24:44.55
erica
When I'm not instead of trying to fill it with something else that would feel good I find myself paralyzed with like the staring in the distance of yeah like indecision or it's just not good enough. So I just I will stare and so doing like leaning into play.
24:49.32
kelliwalkercoaching
Yeah indecision. Yeah.
25:02.30
erica
Sometimes like staring into a fire for me is more like my thoughts are just running rampant and I need to actually just get up and do something just for the sake of it like it's so it's just I feel like it's just like an ops and end of that spectrum you know, um, and so this.
25:13.29
kelliwalkercoaching
Um, yeah, yeah.
25:20.60
erica
Dumb 40 and 23 thing now that we know what that means is a way for me to engage play engage frivolousness engage silliness and to sort of like spark back into my yeah, it's like building those little like.
25:32.50
kelliwalkercoaching
Strengthen that habit I mean you're basically it's building those neural pathways so that when you have that so that you can yeah exactly so that that paralysis isn't there. It just becomes more second nature I mean.
25:37.12
erica
Yeah I can just get up and do yeah so. Yeah, yeah, and I'm noon I have painted a lot of Michael's wooden crafts for no reason no reason I just love it It's so soothing to me I just go to Michael's and I'm like yeah.
25:47.80
kelliwalkercoaching
Yeah.
25:53.70
kelliwalkercoaching
Oh is that like paint by numbers.
25:58.79
erica
No I've done that but no, that's like random woodenass things like just I'm looking right now I have like an easter egg wooden thing I've painted and hung hangtonng on my door I don't know why right? It's a Nick I I will burn this someday. It's what like it's fine. But.
26:09.46
kelliwalkercoaching
Oh my grandma would have love that she loves knickknacks. She loves like I've I'm morally I'm actually morally opposed to knickknacks like I'm morally morally. So.
26:18.53
erica
I Don't have an attachment What? what? Oh God that's fine I have so many necks I have I am looking at a giant E I have hanging above my computer I'll take picture of a crooked e.
26:28.30
kelliwalkercoaching
I Know my my walls are probably like a little tube to bear I Hate clutter.
26:34.19
erica
You want to live in a prison. It's fine I like joy I have pictures I've maps the mapron.
26:39.65
kelliwalkercoaching
I Know yeah my in-laws have like said you know you don't have pictures up or anything on my its too overstimating know I get people's faces all day I don't want to I just semi sacred space like.
26:51.41
erica
I Like that you're living in like an efficiency apartment for like business business people. You know anyway.
26:55.99
kelliwalkercoaching
Yeah I mean it's got an open airy fill I don't want ruin it with clutter. Ah we know, but that does sound I'm gonna be going to Michael's I told my kids they love crafting. So I'm gonna be getting myself a little sa and Sutton.
27:00.88
erica
Sure Yeah, give me your clutter give me your tired you're weary or poor.
27:10.39
erica
And.
27:13.62
kelliwalkercoaching
I'll just keep it in their craft room which is a nightmare their playroom I just close the door. Don't look. It doesn't exist if the doors close I don't care. Ah, yeah, go play and like I don't want to criticize the name of you know your new endeavor. But I feel like it should be 4040
27:18.77
erica
Ah, oh my God All right? Well listen, go play.
27:28.24
erica
If you can find what? no because I want the whole year. My birthday's in June I can't do 40 things before June yeah your mind I've got shit do I've got poor seats to install I've got.
27:33.59
kelliwalkercoaching
40 before 40 Oh That's fair, Yeah yeah, get my head out of my butt. What was I think and you know I What was I thinking I'm so sorry that was.
27:45.77
erica
Anxiety clients I've got. We've met a podcast I need a hear give me a question.
27:52.29
kelliwalkercoaching
I just I just like discounted this whole episode with that comment like that is so much pressure. We don't need that I'm so sorry. No I like yours. It's all right? You're right? because so you have all of 2023 to really just allocate for being human because.
27:54.66
erica
You did Kelly Walker and I was I was in for it I'm like you're right? You're right 40 before 40 should I do like 40 and write in your comments when you write a review. Leave a rating a review and write a comment on what I should name this thing or ask me perfect name because obviously at the end of this I'm going to write about it because I can't do anything in a vacuum. My therapist is furious and fury I'm I'm ruining this podcast for you anyway.
28:12.96
kelliwalkercoaching
What you should name this. There's got to be something especially.
28:24.18
kelliwalkercoaching
Ah, but you.
28:29.80
kelliwalkercoaching
But so anybody if you have better name if you have a better name. Please. Although yours is okay, yay good job. So so go out there and play especially because today's well this will be released on a Monday but you know for us it's Friday so it's it's time to play.
28:30.99
erica
That's our.
28:35.36
erica
Oh my god.
28:41.60
erica
Yeah, that's sure all right I'm gonna get some other blades or something click kidding me god.
28:46.72
kelliwalkercoaching
Oh yeah, I won't even get into it I have roller blades but where we moved is too hilly I would probably actually die so I'm not that good of a roller blader I need a flat surface so that's our episode. Thanks so much for tuning in today.
28:54.73
erica
Yeah, no it.
29:04.39
kelliwalkercoaching
You can find show notes in a transcript of today's show at not another anxietyshow.com if you're enjoying the show please subscribe and take a minute to write a review on Itunes that we can reach and support more people you can also get a discount on your first coaching package at at not another anxietyshow.com I messed up.
29:19.63
erica
Yes, a first time in 6 years yes
29:23.70
kelliwalkercoaching
Um, my god I never ah the first time in 6 years this is what I get for deviating anyway, you can get a discount on your first coaching package at not another anxiety show by subscribing to my newsletter and until next time remember be kind to yourself.
29:40.36
erica
I Love it. Okay.
29:42.86
kelliwalkercoaching
Especially when you miss mess up the outro.
